Log 4
I was zero-geeing (swimming around in zero gravity), totally overjoyed about my uselessness in this entire mission when out of the blue there’s Commander - all up in my face!
Looks like the poor wretch has finally rebooted, seeing as it’s no longer whacking itself against each square inch of the cockpit. Bad news, it still talks pure, unadulterated drivel and now it won’t quit repeating ‘yb dnats esaelp erawtfos gnitoober’, all the while dogging me around like a love-sick, maniacal baboon.
Whatever rocks your boat, tin-brains…
The bright side is that having someone - or rather “something” - capable of pushing buttons, as well as performing other extraordinary feats only a bipedal being is capable of, definitely beats not having one around; regardless of the language it speaks.
Log updated —
You know you couldn’t count to three billion before you were dead, right? Anyone says otherwise, know that they are full of it - it would take an average of 90 years to pull that off.
Log updated —
What’s ‘etelpmoc toober’?
Log updated —
What cracked me up the most during my training was when the couple of guys assigned to watch my diet tried to eat my dog biscuits when they ran out of chips to go with beer. Not a sight for the faint of heart.
Log updated —
Clearly, Captain Nonsense is trying to tell me something! I wish I was “robot” enough to make heads or tails of it. All I can do right now is bark right back at it - put that in the dictionary as the definition of a conversation.
Log updated —
I wonder what they are up to at Mission Control… Must be worried sick about me across every office cubicle down there. Thick-headed as they may have been sending me here in the first place, they’ve still got their reputation to save from the gutter.
Better grab some rack time, I’m positively exhausted.
Log updated —
Woke up to the robot blaring, ‘troppus efil ot deecorP! detceted kaeL”. If I didn’t know better, I’d think the darn thing had finally gone flatout nuts. Clearly, something’s not right. For all I know, the ship is doing okay: no alarms, no warnings, no nothing.
Then what in the world is the Commander yelling its butt off about?
